The Difference Between Getting Better and Learning to Cope.

If you truly want to heal from something you must remove yourself from the environment harming you. If you are still in the same environment that is causing you stress, mental or physical harm or plain unhappiness you must leave it or change it.


If you are still in the same environment that previously caused you harm and now the effects have diminished with no change to the environment, you are learning to cope better. However this is only a short term solution.


Clients of psychologists, therapists and life coaches can often get frustrated as while we pass on knowledge of coping mechanisms they are not meant to be used every day for long periods of time.


If breathing exercises and self affirmations help you cope with a tough week or month then you should pass through to the other side of a set timeframe. If you know your stressor you need to change something so you interact with it less often, or eliminate it completely.


This requires a huge effort and hard choices made outside therapy or coaching sessions, like moving apartments, not meeting certain people or, most often, changing careers.


If you are trying to lose weight because you recently gained, stop and look at your habits in daily life. Most habits form around the way we make income. For example a job that doesn’t allow meal prep/gym time, supplies unhealthy food for snacks, an expectation you will eat at your desk and the only way to socialise is in the pub is more than likely to lead to weight gain or health issues over time.


The best way to lose weight would first remove yourself from that environment or reduce your exposure to it. Ask for healthier snacks, take a lunch break, take time to prep food. If your job doesn’t allow for these things you need to start considering long term if it’s the right fit.


If you stay in the unchanged environment you are “coping”.


If you leave or radically change the environment you are getting better.